π Dear Ruksi π I feel nothing sometimes. Like everything and everyone around me is weary, lowly buzzing background noise to my numbness. I feel everything sometimes. Like everything and everyone around me is unobscurable, relentlessly loud ringing, not in my ears, but deep within.Β
π Dear Ruksi π I feel broken, upset, blame myself for why he left me. I canβt move on with my life because I didnβt receive closure from the man I loved. He left me without saying anything and here I am, day in day out sitting in hope that heβll come back to me.Β
π Dear Ruksi π There's a feeling of a billion expectations being put onto you and you trying your hardest but not being able to fulfill them.. some expectations are put on my yourself and some by others. Y
π Dear Ruksi π I feel like I'm a girl in front of her closet... (the way my close looks is it doesn't have a door, it just sinks into the wall with a bar for hangers and a shelf above for shoes)...
π Dear Ruksi π When you've loved someone with all your heart, all your being and it doesn't work out and you know you're probably better off not being together but then a decade passes and still, there are moments whenΒ
π Dear Ruksi π I love her. I never told her because I was scared of getting my heart broken which is exactly what happened but.... I love her with my entire being. Her flaws, failures, pros and cons. She is absolutely perfect to me.Β
π Dear Ruksi π There is a divide between my inner and outer reality. I feel happy, content and productive on the outside. I see myself and world flourishing as I step up to my responsibilities and choose disciplined regulated living over haphazard choices- it feels great! Yet, inside, there's a frustrating and constant undercurrent of negative feelings...
π Dear Ruksi π Three years ago, the love of my life, my husband started to suffer from a rare chronic illness. My broken heart is finally starting to mend after working through my fear for him and my sadness over the things we will never get to do together.Β
π Dear Ruksi π Long ago in the context of relationships, a friend told me I was like a strange exotic bird - beautiful and enchanting yet flies away when anyone comes too close, or dances backwards and forwards til they fly away in frustration.Β
π Dear Ruksi π Sometimes, when I sit and start thinking, the idea of time passing by crosses my mind. It scares me every time. Time always seems so powerful, it flees fast and someday it'll even meet its quietus and bring me to mine
π Dear Ruksi π A widow places her deep grief of 2 years to the side in hopes of finding new love. Family and friends are always near yet the lonely void is never filled, after all they were together 20 years.Β
π Dear Ruksi π I am in this weird place of feeling so unworthy of the blessings & love that has entered my life. I over think. Like is this actually for me? Little ole me? Whats the catch? I'm waiting for someone to pop out and yell "You got punk'd!"