The Lost Art of Paying Attention
We change our life by changing what we see
“When you can stretch a moment by simply paying attention to it”
I find children to be masters at the art of paying attention. They have an exhaustible capacity to be curious and present as they observe the world. But how has my ability to pay attention changed as I’ve grown up? If attention is my most rare and valuable asset, then how strange and ironic it is that I give it away so freely and easily.
The latin root for attention, attendere, literally means to “stretch towards”.
How appropriate.
When we slow down our busy lives to give our attention to someone or something, we literally stretch time.
By noticing the world, we begin to attend to it and show that we care. We notice it from all angles and sides and we can feel time stretch and expand as we notice each moment.
So, I have to ask: if I can literally expand my experience of time by paying attention, why is it so HARD to do? Why was it so easy when I was a child? Simply put, it’s because we have quickly grown familiar with this world. As David Whyte brilliantly puts it, “alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.”
How many things are we familiar with in our life? Our loved ones, the home we live in, the roads we travel on, the changing seasons, the magnificent sunsets. Everything that I was once in awe with as a child has quickly become rote and mundane as I’ve grown familiar with it.
Familiarity occurs when we no longer are willing to be surprised. Familiarity is the false assumption that we already know.
Yesterday, I drove down highway 441, a road that I’ve driven on probably more than 3,000 times in the last 20 years of living in Florida. During springtime, either side of the highway is covered in beautiful wild flowers. I usually appreciate them from a distance, but I never really take the time to properly pay attention to them.
I decided to stop my car on the side of the highway (and felt self-conscious for a few solid minutes as cars curiously passed me). I stepped into the wildflower patch to attend to the beautiful flowers, appreciate them, and collect them. It made me realize that there is magic to be found in the mundane, even on a highway you’ve driven on thousands of times.
It taught me that you can overcome familiarity through humility.
When you admit that there is something you do not yet know, you are able to become alert, attentive, and feel the awe and excitement of living in the world that you once had as a child.
A little glimpse into the beauty of Florida wildflowers that surround the highways
“Pay attention to everything in the world as if it’s alive. Realize everything has its own discrete existence outside your story. By doing this, you open to gifts and lessons that the world has to give you.
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